Blowfish Poisoning?...it was bound to happen sometime

I've been saying it for years...ever since I first learned that Blowfish is considered a delicacy and can be lethal if prepared incorrectly. One day, an accident will happen. While I may not believe in the fact that we evolved from primates, I tend to agree with Darwin's theory that stupid things/people will eventually eliminate themselves from this earth out of their own retardedness. Case in point...

I happened across this article on my Internet homepage. The link is http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090127/ap_on_re_as/as_japan_blowfish_poisoning

I have a secret desire to want to be an writer for a show like "The Soup", except to write about news-worthy events that desperately need "duh-comments" injected into them to point out the completely obvious, Darwin Award-worthy idiots that grace the headlines. So, you may read the original article at the link above, or you can read the same article below, injected (in parentheses) with what I would actually have the news anchor say...out loud:


TOKYO – Blowfish testicles (uhm, how in the world can fish testicles be large enough to actually satisfy ANY appetite) prepared by an unauthorized chef (how exactly DOES one become "authorized" to cook testicles) sickened seven diners in northern Japan and three remained hospitalized Tuesday after eating the poisonous delicacy (does anyone else consider this an oxymoron?).

The (former) owner of the restaurant in Tsuruoka city, who is also the (former) chef, had no license to serve blowfish (but had a license to kill?...okay, that may have been a little cheesy) and was being questioned on suspicion of professional negligence, police official Yoshihito Iwase said (suspicion?...the guy had fish testicles dangling from his knife and people croaking in his store).

Blowfish, while extremely poisonous if not prepared properly, is considered a delicacy in Japan and is consumed by thrill-seeking gourmets (skydiving, hangliding, parasailing...that is thrill-seeking, not the consumption of fish nuts).

Iwase said the seven men ordered sashimi (bless you) and grilled blowfish testicles (grilled?...how do they not fall through onto the coals?) at the restaurant Monday night.
Shortly after, they developed limb paralysis and breathing trouble and started to lose consciousness — typical signs of blowfish poisoning — and were rushed to a hospital for treatment, Iwase said.

A 68-year-old diner remained hospitalized in critical condition with respiratory failure and two others, aged 55 and 69, were in serious condition, he said (OH!! That's why the eat fish balls...because they CAN'T skydive, hanglide, etc. anymore!)

"It's scary (isn't that the definition of "thrill-seeking"?). If you go to a decent-looking restaurant that serves fugu (bless you again), you would assume a cook has a proper fugu license (obviously, I mean, I always ask my Shogun cook if he can show his credentials prior to creating an onion volcano)," Iwase said, using the Japanese term for blowfish.

Blowfish poison, called tetrodotoxin, is nearly 100 times more poisonous than potassium cyanide, according to the Ishikawa Health Service Association. It can cause death within an hour and a half after consumption (yet they continue to "authorize" people to cook and serve it!).

Three people died and 44 others were sickened by blowfish poisoning in 2007 — most of them after catching the fish and cooking it at home — according to the Health Ministry (bet they weren't authorized either! They must have thought it was bass or trout or something).

Father and son redneck adventure!

On this past Saturday night, Lucas and I had our first father-son redneck adventure. First, let me preface this by saying that we are NOT rednecks! I simply thought that my son, being a huge fan of cars, trucks, crashes, and jumping, would love the Monster Jam Truck Show at Alltel Arena. And boy did he!

Of course, the first rule of having a father-son fun night is that we get to break the rules! The show didn't start until 7:30pm, but his bedtime is at 7:00pm. 1 point for daddy for coolness! We arrived at the arena and I expected that on a 30-degree Saturday night, there would not be that many people at this 2-night event. The arena was packed! The parking lots were all packed and it cost $10 to park. Since I only had $1 in my wallet, I did the next best thing...I removed a road cone blocking a very convenient parallel parking spot right against the sidewalk on the east side of the arena! I parked, then placed the road cone back in its original position...no witnesses! Saved $10!!

I didn't have tickets yet, so I walked up to the window. The sign read "Adults 12+ $21.75, Kids 2-12 $11.75". I asked the lady behind the glass how much it would cost if the kid is not quite 2 years old. She replied "they're free". My son is 2 years and 3 weeks old. I didn't think...just reacted. I said "one adult please". Saved $11.75...up to $21.75 so far for the night! I took my ticket and walked up to the front door where the lady was checking bags. I had a diaper bag because my son naturally still uses diapers. She said they don't allow video cameras (I only had a digital camera anyway), but they do allow sippee cups for children. As she looked into the bag, she told me that they don't allow food products either. I realize this is a ploy to get you to purchase their $5 hot dogs, $4 popcorn, $8 cheeseburgers, and who knows what else. But, when she told me I will have to throw away his small snack-sized ziplock bag full of Teddy Graham Cinnamon Crackers and tiny snack-sized bag of Welsh's Fruit Snacks, I didn't think...just reacted. "But ma'am, he has severe food allergies and I can't trust the food cooked here. I know that these snacks are safe for him to eat," I pleaded. "Okay, I'll just pretend I didn't see them," she said. More points for daddy...and much more money saved! Dang I'm good! Come on...that's a stupid rule anyway! Don't act like you wouldn't do the same thing!

So, we enter the arena and I climb up to the third row from the top of the arena to avoid becoming the 3rd and 4th victims to die in one week from accidents at Monster Truck shows (referring to news stories from Washington state where a 6-yr old was killed from a flying drive shaft off a truck and some other state where a crew member was killed when he was actually hit by the truck...hit!! I mean, how do you not see or hear the thing coming?!?) We sit down in our seats and I quickly spotted a man 3 seats down on my left with a mullet eating Vienna sausages straight out of a can (he must have food allergies too). I noted several others placing ear plugs into their children's ears. I began to worry at this point. First, Vienna sausages make me vomit...immediately. Second, I have no ear plugs. I mean, how loud can a truck be?

The truck started up and revved up its engine...Lucas and I both immediately pooped our pants. It was so loud, my chest vibrated. I covered Lucas' ears with my hands as he sat on my lap. He didn't like that, so he pulled my hands down. The truck revved up its engine again...Lucas grabbed my hands and pulled them back up towards his ears. That is where my hands were for most of the show. Over the next 2 hours, we proceeded to watch these 6 trucks demolish 2 rows of cars, race, and spin donuts on the arena floor. Then, we watched about a dozen 4-wheelers race around the arena floor. Lucas LOVED that part. I couldn't hear the words coming out of his mouth due to the noise, but I could see his mouth going 90mph as he motioned his hands around in a big circle over and over again as if to imitate the 4-wheelers and encourage them to continue. Then, we watched some motorcross guys ramp over a 70-foot span with their bikes performing some pretty amazing stunts, including ramping up, standing on the handlebars in mid-air, and returning to sit before he crashed and broke his face.

Lucas had a blast! At 9:30, it was over. The smell of exhaust, Vienna sausages, and beer were entrapped in our clothes and hair. We gathered up the remains of his illegal bootleg snacks and headed to our illegal parking spot so we could get home. All the way home, he talked about the cars and big trucks that crashed and jumped and raced, and then HE crashed as we pulled into the neighborhood! BIG points for daddy! He's still talking about it 3 days later!

Here are the 6 trucks. 3 of them completely broke down by the end of the show! From left to right, they are "Predator", "Prowler", "Iron something or other", "Rammunition", "Ramminator", and "something else I can't remember".

They were crushing cars...not a very practical talent if you ask me.

Lucas' favorite part...the 4-wheeler races.

At the end of the show. He looks tired...and kind of redneck-like actually. And his poor lip looks horrible in this picture. I wish I could have taken better pictures of us together, but I didn't want Vienna sausage-man touching my camera to take a picture of us together.

Happy New Year!

Eleven hours into 2009 and I haven't broken my resolution yet! It's pretty easy to not break one when you don't make one! Teresa's resolution is to lose weight (like millions of other Americans), but she's already off to a great start! She's lost 20 lbs in the last 2 weeks! Of course, that's thanks in part (well, in whole really) to having a baby 2 weeks ago and breastfeeding this whole time. She's only got 10 more lbs to go until her pre-pregnancy weight, but she won't stop there. Chasing 2 kids around is going to be a workout!

The holidays went smoothly in the Morshedi household. We had 5 separate Christmas events, 3 of them being hosted at our house because of having a brand new baby and it just being easier that way. Altogether, I think I counted 50 people to come in and out of our household just related to the holidays...and who knows how many came through for baby-gazing! I guess that's what Mary and Joseph felt like, huh?

Lucas absolutely loved opening Christmas presents this year! He will be 2 on Monday, so this was his second Christmas. I didn't think he would enjoy it as much as he did, but every time he tore open the wrapping paper and caught a glimpse of what was underneath, regardless of the fact that he couldn't see a picture or read the words but only saw color, he would shriek out in excitement, even if it wasn't his present he was opening! Except for clothing, he just pulled them out and tossed them away without even looking at where they landed as he continued to dig to the bottom of the box or bag looking for that TOY!! He's so stinkin' cute! I'm glad he's my kid! Elayna, though, could have cared less about what was going on for her first Christmas, giving that she was only 1 week old at Christmas.

Tonight, Teresa's family is coming over to the house for dinner (they are not included in that count of 50 above yet!...that's a possibility of another 20-22 peeps!). We will have the traditional New Year's dinner in my family, although this is the first time I am cooking it. Usually my parents cook it. The menu at Cafe de' Morshedi will include grilled pork chops, Irish potatoes, black-eyed peas, and cornbread. We're not superstitious, but we will eat black-eyed peas anyway. It is the one time during the year that I eat them. Surely they have some nutritional value that I need.

Okay, this post is long enough. I will post later about how cute my kids are! In the meantime, here's a few Christmas and random photos of them from the last week or so.

Lucas got a karaoke microphone so he can sing his ABCs.

We almost caught his shrill of excitement in the photo...but we just missed it!

He's playing with his new "garage in a box" that his MeMe (Teresa's mom) gave him.

Papa (pronounced "pawpaw", Brandon's dad) holding his grandaughter.

Proud grandparents!

This is just a sweet picture of my daughter taken by a friend of ours while I was trying to make her comfortable in her carseat when she was sleeping.